One of the principal joys of being an author is killing your characters in imaginative ways. Don’t believe me? Try it.
For your amusement (and my own) I have assembled a table of the various gruesome ways characters have met their deaths in the work I have published so far. I’ll build new tables as I work on other projects, and publish them here from time to time, perhaps with a running total.
You will notice Perilous Jack’s name many times. The Perilous Adventures of Jack the Dragonslayer are Choose Your Own Adventure®-style stories, in which there are numerous ways for him to meet a bitter ending. Since all the action is directed by the reader, the squeamish or guilt-prone are advised to proceed with caution!
Enjoy!
| Character | Book | Sad Ending |
| Assassins of Zurza mirc Zodien | A Lord of Three | smashed by a living statue, chopped to bits by King Qareppoh, and stabbed with a poisoned dagger by Lady Vitalia |
| Assorted Mosplehan and Saischan assassins | A Lord of Three | cut, slashed, burned, and torn apart by Captain Skargo Matchless |
| Enzo Vipond | A Lord of Three | betrayed by his brother and cast into the mist of Uducor |
| Jaagup the Worm | A Lord of Three | throat torn out by the iron teeth of Linus the Brave |
| Jachin Ajam | A Lord of Three | wandered off into the haunted mist of Uducor |
| King Tifeas and Queen Xanthippe of Uducor | A Lord of Three | killed by a mechanical man built by Dhananjay Prabhakara |
| Lady Trowbridge | A Lord of Three | murdered by assassins in service of one of the royal houses of Tapum |
| Norbert the Quick | A Lord of Three | head chopped off by Queen Asilah |
| Samuli Vanishing-Brush | A Lord of Three | spine broken by Jaagup the Worm |
| Sessel Nightfox | A Lord of Three | eaten by Srachian the Spider-Killer |
| Tarbucket the Cyclops | A Lord of Three | shot through the eye by Prince Tifeas’s arrow |
| Teon No-Ears | A Lord of Three | disembowelled by Kuivin the Merlin at the Battle of the Dome |
| The Weatherbold Expedition | A Lord of Three | ate each other |
| Thilius Gray | A Lord of Three | tricked by Ludlow the Lazy into drowning in Baba Yaga’s Bucket |
| Toya, a serving maid | A Lord of Three | killed by a Tapumi assassin |
| Two Saidi lieutenants | A Lord of Three | killed by assassins while trying to protect the infant Ludlow |
| Two Tapumi assassins | A Lord of Three | killed by officers of the Saidi Foreign Service |
| Ventifrons’s conspirators | A Lord of Three | turned inside out and displayed in the cemetary of Mydmos for the amusement of the guardian jackals |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion | transformed into a mindless Minotaur and enslaved by the Bull-God |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion | killed by the Iron Golem. |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion | digested alive by the Red Orb |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion | digested alive by the Red Orb (again) |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion | captured by Ogre Magi and presumably eaten |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | turned into a Wolfwere |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | turned to stone by the Boros |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | neck broken by the Three-Headed Snake |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | frozen in a block of ice by the Ice Wizard |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | turned into a plant monster |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | stung by a Neochu; plants grow in his living flesh and kill him |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | kills the Druid and winds up trapped in his burning lair |
| Perilous Jack | Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans | eaten by carnivorous plants |
Chronicler's Note: 
“turned inside out” has to be my favorite.
The logistics of turning someone inside out are a nightmare, but the results are well worth the effort, especially when you can make some artistic flourishes with the squiggly bits.