One of the principal joys of being an author is killing your characters in imaginative ways. Don’t believe me? Try it.

For your amusement (and my own) I have assembled a table of the various gruesome ways characters have met their deaths in the work I have published so far. I’ll build new tables as I work on other projects, and publish them here from time to time, perhaps with a running total.

You will notice Perilous Jack’s name many times. The Perilous Adventures of Jack the Dragonslayer are Choose Your Own Adventure®-style stories, in which there are numerous ways for him to meet a bitter ending. Since all the action is directed by the reader, the squeamish or guilt-prone are advised to proceed with caution!

Enjoy!

Character Book Sad Ending
Assassins of Zurza mirc Zodien A Lord of Three smashed by a living statue, chopped to bits by King Qareppoh, and stabbed with a poisoned dagger by Lady Vitalia
Assorted Mosplehan and Saischan assassins A Lord of Three cut, slashed, burned, and torn apart by Captain Skargo Matchless
Enzo Vipond A Lord of Three betrayed by his brother and cast into the mist of Uducor
Jaagup the Worm A Lord of Three throat torn out by the iron teeth of Linus the Brave
Jachin Ajam A Lord of Three wandered off into the haunted mist of Uducor
King Tifeas and Queen Xanthippe of Uducor A Lord of Three killed by a mechanical man built by Dhananjay Prabhakara
Lady Trowbridge A Lord of Three murdered by assassins in service of one of the royal houses of Tapum
Norbert the Quick A Lord of Three head chopped off by Queen Asilah
Samuli Vanishing-Brush A Lord of Three spine broken by Jaagup the Worm
Sessel Nightfox A Lord of Three eaten by Srachian the Spider-Killer
Tarbucket the Cyclops A Lord of Three shot through the eye by Prince Tifeas’s arrow
Teon No-Ears A Lord of Three disembowelled by Kuivin the Merlin at the Battle of the Dome
The Weatherbold Expedition A Lord of Three ate each other
Thilius Gray A Lord of Three tricked by Ludlow the Lazy into drowning in Baba Yaga’s Bucket
Toya, a serving maid A Lord of Three killed by a Tapumi assassin
Two Saidi lieutenants A Lord of Three killed by assassins while trying to protect the infant Ludlow
Two Tapumi assassins A Lord of Three killed by officers of the Saidi Foreign Service
Ventifrons’s conspirators A Lord of Three turned inside out and displayed in the cemetary of Mydmos for the amusement of the guardian jackals
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion transformed into a mindless Minotaur and enslaved by the Bull-God
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion killed by the Iron Golem.
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion digested alive by the Red Orb
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion digested alive by the Red Orb (again)
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Frost Potion captured by Ogre Magi and presumably eaten
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans turned into a Wolfwere
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans turned to stone by the Boros
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans neck broken by the Three-Headed Snake
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans frozen in a block of ice by the Ice Wizard
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans turned into a plant monster
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans stung by a Neochu; plants grow in his living flesh and kill him
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans kills the Druid and winds up trapped in his burning lair
Perilous Jack Perilous Jack and the Magic Beans eaten by carnivorous plants
Category:
Perilous Jack, Writing
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Join the conversation! 2 Comments

  1. “turned inside out” has to be my favorite.

    Reply
    • The logistics of turning someone inside out are a nightmare, but the results are well worth the effort, especially when you can make some artistic flourishes with the squiggly bits.

      Reply

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